Which Footy Team Would Jesus Barrack For?

It’s footy finals weekend, and a fitting time to ask: which team would Jesus barrack for?

Barrack?

Until I came to live in Australia I thought barracks were places where soldiers lived. But you can’t live more than about three days in Melbourne without being asked the key question that establishes your right to claim Australian identity: which footy team do you barrack for? (The answer doesn’t seem to matter. You just have to barrack for one of the AFL teams. When I reply that I barrack for the All Blacks, Australians seem genuinely saddened, as if I’m letting myself down.)

And the team you barrack for isn’t just your team. It’s your beloved team.

In fact, the following beloved ladder makes it clear which team is favourite for tomorrow’s grand final:

beloved Collingwood            90

beloved Carlton                  89

beloved St Kilda                 40

beloved Western Bulldogs     40

beloved Kangaroos              37

beloved Essendon               34

beloved Adelaide Crows       30

beloved Fremantle              24

beloved Geelong                 21

beloved Hawthorn               18

beloved Richmond Tigers      13

beloved Sydney Swans        10

beloved West Coast Eagles   9

beloved Brisbane Lions         7

beloved Port Adelaide          4

beloved Melbourne Demons   3

But what about Jesus? Who does He barrack for? Google suggests Collingwood, ahead of the Brisbane Lions. But the Lions – aiming to win a third straight premiership – were almightily helped last year by devout Christian Shaun Hart.

But could it be that Jesus is more attracted to the game played in Heaven? The Rugby World Cup starts in a couple of weeks. The Bible Society has prepared some impressive resources.